Ectopic Post Op

Today we had out post operation appointment. It’s been a little over two weeks since my surgery and although I am feeling better, I don’t think that I’m 100% healed. We removed the thin strips of tape that held together the two slabs of skin that were cut through. Beneath the incision, it’s a little hard, similar to a callous. The doctor says that this is normal and that it will be about 2 months before the skin starts to feel soft again.

It still hurts when I move around and I am still walking at a similar pace to an 80 year old. I have been trying to take it easy and refrain from lifting  and maneuvering heavy objects. I am thankful for Blaine because he has been really good about helping me through this healing process.

Emotionally, I’m still strong. We have been having to explain our situation to many people as many knew we were going through IVF. I keep feeling selfish for not being more sad about losing a baby but the feeling of being semi healthy and free of pain and vomiting is such a feeling that I take for granted. Challenges happen to the best of us and those who are able to handle it…I try to remind myself of this everyday. I can handle anything and wouldn’t wish what we went through upon anyone.

Blaine and I have experienced these challenges for a reason. It has brought us to a totally new place and has challenged so many aspects of our lives. What doesn’t kill us will only make us stronger. Today, we are stronger and have proved that we are resilient to whatever comes our way.

Discharge Day

Almost time to go home. Can’t wait to see Bella and be comfortable in my bed again. It’s been a long 2 days and an even longer 12 months. 

I hope and pray that the next time I’m here is to deliver our first baby. 

  

2am August 7

I lay here at 2am in the cold and uncomfortable hospital bed at Kapiolani hospital. 

It was a perfect day; I went to work, had a nice lunch with my mom, and completed much on my to do list. Then it hit me…on my way to pick up Blaine after work I was hit with an intense pain in my abdomen. Thinking that it was nothing more than cramps from my miscarriage, I swallowed extra strength Tylenol and waited for the pain to dissipate. 

After an hour with no relief insight and the onset of nausea and vomiting, we called Dr. Kosasa who advised us to head to the emergency room ASAP. It was like a scene out of movies as I was rushed ahead of waiting room patients , greeted in the emergency room by a handful of nurses and doctors, and prepped for operation minutes after arriving. 

I was in pain, severe pain and it took drug after drug for me to feel the slightest bit comfortable. I whined and moaned because the pain was so unbearable. I nearly fainted and needed to be coached on deep breathing techniques. It was an experience I had never imagined I would have to endure purely for my desire to want to have a baby. 

It’s now 2am and the surgery is over, the pain is gone, and I lay here trying to piece together everything that we’ve been through on this IVF journey. I knew what to expect; however, an ectopic pregnancy, ruptured Fallopian tube, and internal bleeding I failed to prepare myself for. 

It’s a discouraging feeling but I am grateful to have caught this early on as outcomes could have been a lot different. But yet, another road block on our journey to starting a family and living happily ever after. 

And just like that…

And just like that…our plans for being pregnant are over.

I had been experiencing severe nausea and vomiting for about a week, during my 6th week of pregnancy. I didn’t think of it much and attributed much of it to morning sickness. I had read somewhere that the more severe your morning sickness symptoms are, the stronger your pregnancy. Actually, Blaine and I were a little relieved, thinking that I was on the right track to being a mommy.

It was also during this week that I had an appointment for my confirming ultrasound. We went in for my appointment and the doctor was not able to detect a heartbeat. We were then referred to another doctor who supposedly had a stronger ultrasound machine. I went to both appointments and was given no results but just to return the next day.

So I did, alone, and I was told that the ultrasound detected the two embryos that were transplanted. One embryo was where it was supposed to be, but it was not surviving. The other embryo implanted in my fallopian tube, causing an ectopic pregnancy. I wasn’t too familiar with ectopic pregnancies and honestly never thought to research them because it’s such a rare case. But long story short, ectopic pregnancies can be threatening to mothers as the tube can burst and cause internal bleeding. Needless to say, it was on the same day that I was given medicine to dissolve the pregnancy and induce miscarriage.

So just like that…me being pregnant at this time is over. People are taking it a little harder than I am. I am surprisingly taking it very well. It was such a bad experience being sick with nausea and vomiting that I don’t ever want to feel that way again. As soon as they gave me the medicine to dissolve the pregnancy, I immediately felt better; such a great feeling. And I thought we got lucky getting pregnant the first time. I know of so many other people who needed multiple attempts before it was successful. I guess in a way I prepared myself for it taking a few times as well.

Anyway, we have a post treatment appointment this Thursday and will talk about next steps. I think I’m going to have to wait a few months for the meds to completely leave my system and try again. Hopefully I get pregnant naturally before that. Not sure, but that’s where we are in our IVF journey.

BETA #3

I had my third blood work today and although the results were not what I totally wanted to hear, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been; and for that I am grateful and relieved. They say that a pregnant woman’s HCG levels should double every 48 hours. Today marks 20 days past the transfer of the 2 embryos. And the results are as follows:

7dp5dt: level of 20

9dp5dt: level of 80

20dp5dt: level of 1,396

If my HCG levels were doubling every 48 hours, today I should have had a HCG level of at least 2,560, so needless to say, my numbers are kind of low. The nurse reassured me though, that although it is low, I have nothing to worry about as my numbers continue to rise, and that is all that matters.

She asked if I have been experiencing any symptoms and I told her about my occasional stomach cramping and my loss of appetite. All signs of pregnancy, according to the nurse and my acupuncturist. I’ve been reading up online and my HCG level is apparently normal so I’m trying to stay optimistic. The ultrasound can’t come soon enough. This IVF process is definitely teaching me patience, to say the least.

Until then, all I can do is continue to hope and pray that our baby continues to grow.

Needles Galore

After all that we’ve been through I can’t say that I can take shots easily. I continue to dread it everyday. But look at how many I’ve gone through thus far…

  

BETA Results

So far these are our results from the blood tests we’ve done this week:

7dp5dt: level of 20

9dp5dt: level of 80

What does this mean? Well, doctors want to see that the HCG levels are doubling every 48 hours and our numbers are definitely doing so. Long story short….we have tested positive for a pregnancy! 

I’m so relieved yet still so scared because we take a few more blood tests to monitor that the numbers continue to double. Once we confirm that a few more times then we’ll do an ultrasound to monitor baby’s heartbeat and we’ll be able to see if it’s a single or multiple pregnancy. Thank you God for helping us through this and for all the prayers we have been blessed with. ❤

Nauseous

I’m feeling tired, out of breath, and kind of nauseous today. Is this normal? 

Transfer day

It’s the BIG day! Today we will transfer the best embryos into my uterus in hopes of implantation and the beginning of a pregnancy. I’m so nervous, I could hardly sleep last night. Everything that we have been going through, and this is the closest I am becoming to actually being pregnant. After all, the egg is already fertilized, right?

Of the 8 that fertilized, only 3 reached the desired stage of blastocyst. We decided to put 2 embryos in although the embryologist recommended only 1 because of my age. We will freeze the other one. It was a fairly simple process. I went into the room and waited as the embryologist made final preparations for the embies to be transferred. The doctor cleaned my insides, making sure the environment was in perfect condition for the little embies to live and implant. The embryologist came in with the little babies in a syringe and the doctor shot those bad boys (or girls) up between my legs. I did not feel a thing.

After that, I lied down and waited for 30 minutes before I put my bottoms back on and went on my way to acupuncture. Now the real wait begins as we will have to wait a week to take our first pregnancy test.

Crossing my fingers and every other part of my body. I really hope that we get pregnant and we can start this new chapter in our lives. I may have jumped the gun, but I have already bought baby swaddles in anticipation for our little ones to arrive.

  

Grateful

Things seem to be coming into place in all aspects of my life. I don’t say this often, but I do really think I am a lucky girl despite the challenges we are having with trying to start a family.

I will be starting a new job as an instructor at the University of Hawaii, I just bought a new car, and I have the best family and support anyone could ever ask for (although they do drive me crazy at times).

Our IVF experiences have been pretty text book thus far. We definitely fall into all the statistics we hear and read about. And for that I am thankful….